Communication 101 

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One of the things I enjoy most is talking. Interacting with people. Loved ones. Coworkers. Classmates. Complete total strangers.  

One of the ways I enjoy interacting besides face to face interaction is through electronic media. Text. Email. Etc. now it’s not the most enjoyable method of communication. But in a busy warped world we live in. It can be the most convenient. 

Not everyone enjoys texting and emailing. I do. Some people text a few words and think that will carry a conversation. Others like to send paragraphs in their text. 

Hi, I’m Joseph. The paragraph texter. Nice to meet you 

I just enjoy seeing longer texts (unless someone is upset either at me or something/someone else). Now don’t get me wrong , a multi hour conversation over the phone/FaceTime or in person will always win over texting but I just enjoy being able to send longer texts expressing how I’m doing or what’s going in the world or even I’m getting to know the person for the first time and enjoy when someone feels the need to express themselves that way as well. 

For me to be the paragraph texter means I’m a strong anti-one word texter. I don’t like them. Never understood the point in one word texts. I’m pretty sure they’re the end all be all of conversation killers. 

Common sense would tell you if you receive a one word text reply after the conversation has been flowing well, they’re either 1) no longer interested in the topic 2) no longer in having a conversation with you in general 3) no longer interested in you in general 

I guess I’m just a weird person when it comes to text messaging in general. I equate the quality of texting to how that person would communicate in any other form. I’m willing to bet if you can send me a few more words in a text, you can articulate yourself well in any other medium. 

This doesn’t necessarily mean this is the case for everyone and all of the time. But more times than not you’ll notice that it is the case a lot of the time. 

I hold texting and email to a standard that you’re willing to communicate in the most simplest form. It’s easy. Simple. Fast. 

I’m big on content and conscientious. I understand I won’t always get text replies seconds later. (Unless your read receipts on, then I expect a reply within minutes) but I do feel that the timeliness in ones response to a message, call back, etc. shows that persons interest in you and their respect towards communication in general. (And this is the reason why some people opt to have their receipts off. They don’t want you to know when they read your message) 

Don’t initiate the conversation and then don’t respond for hours at a time. And if you do, at least continue the conversation instead of just typing a dry stoic “Hey/Hi/Wyd” Keep that.

If I receive a message or some sort of notification from someone and felt that it was important I will get back with you at my earliest convenience 

I posed a question on twitter the other day asking what does it mean if you ask someone how they were doing and they didn’t ask in return and one of the responses I received was that I may have unrealistic expectations of that person. 

I feel the same with texting and communication in general. I shouldn’t have to expect something that’s usually asked like clockwork within the first few questions. And it’s not just texting. I’ve experienced this in person as well. I would ask the person who their day was and they would proceed to tell me everything about their day and never asked in return. 

This conversation was in person. 

That just tells me that person wasn’t interested in how I was doing that day. Sure, it’s possible they could’ve just forgot. But if they’ve done this multiple times, they didn’t forget. 

Maybe I do have unrealistic expectations when it comes to communication. Maybe I should follow suit with many other people and just devalue communication and conversation. Some people don’t really appreciate text messaging. They would rather talk on the phone. FaceTime. Meet in person. And that’s fine. But you can’t FaceTime all day. Can’t always meet in person. Texting shouldn’t come with a handbook. Either you like it or you don’t. If it’s for you, great. If not, that’s cool too. 

One thing I won’t do is force a conversation. If I can already pick up you not being interested the conversation or me , then I’m no longer interested. I would much rather the person tell me they’re not interested in either of the two and save myself the hassle. We’re all adults here. 

There’s a time for texting. Then there’s a time to hold a conversation over phone and a time meet in person. And now matter which one, know that the importance of all of the above. Different people may prefer one medium over the other or deem one more important the other.  It’s all communication at the end of the day. A person may only prefer to text and meet in person. Another may only prefer to talk on the phone. 

At the end of the day, if you’re interested in someone or enjoy having conversations, the medium won’t make a difference or be a deal breaker. But remember a one word or short text can easily be just holding the phone or staring at each other in person or looking around awkwardly. One particular medium doesn’t or shouldn’t equate to ones ability to converse. 

The idea is to be able to converse the same in all mediums. Text the way you talk and talk the way you’d interact in person. Not everyone is capable of this but it would make things flow more smoothly. 

You wouldn’t one word text/email your supervisor and hours later at that. 

You wouldn’t just hold the phone aimlessly for hours if you were talking to your mother. Unless she was complaining on why you haven’t called her all week. 

Communication is everything. It’s important in relationships. Important in the business world. It’s important at Starbucks. Either way, communication is important. Communication can bring clarity and peace of mind. And I don’t want to neglect it. I haven’t been the most perfect and communicating but I realize I’m not the worst at it either. Communication will diffuse confusion. Whether you’re my supervisor, mother, best friend, spouse, or a complete stranger, you’ll remember the experience you had with me based on my communication and not be left feeling confused, or disrespected. 

If you don’t agree with this, that’s fine. Don’t bother returning any of your texts that are in your phone. Your emails. Don’t call anyone back. It’s perfectly. understandable. If reading any of this convicted you, that’s unfortunate. Save yourself the guilt, never send a text again. Only have phone conversations. Only meet in person. That should help. 

I’m totally kidding. But that may say something about how you communicate if you honestly felt a come kind of way after reading this. 

“But I was busy. I had x-y-and-z going on. I forgot to respond/call back. ” 

Nobody’s that busy that they can’t take 2 seconds to return an email or text. A few minutes to return the phone call. They just weren’t interested in doing so. You’re not that important to them. 

I work two jobs, will finish school at some point, and I’m a father. If you’re important to me, you will know. Trust and know I will find a way to communicate that to you. But that’s just who I am. I value communication. 

What does communication really mean to you? Do you value it? 

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