The Review: S.W.B. series: “Single With Benefits”

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The first installment in Pastor Carter’s summer sermon series ‘Single With Benefits’ starts out with giving a general background on the world’s view of singles today, whether from reality TV, or from people’s own perspective of singleness. The problem that what the world sees as being single and how to live the lifestyle doesn’t agree with God’s view.

Throughout God’s Word, no scripture or verse emerges as how to successfully date. That’s because God doesn’t believe in “dating” There’s single. and there’s courtship, which leads to God’s holy covenant between two people…marriage. That’s it, nothing whatsoever about dating. Paul brings up the lifestyle of being single in the biblical form in 1 Corinthians 7. Paul, himself is single.

I wish that all men were as I am. but each man has his own gift from God’ one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

1 Corinthians 7: 7-9

Paul later speaks out on a situation if an unbeliever and believer are married (2 Corinthians 6:14), and the unbeliever leaves, the believer should let them leave, because they, the believer, are not bound in such circumstances. (1 Corinthians 7:15)

Later in the chapter Paul addresses those who are still virgins, men in particular. He says that he has no command from the Lord but says that it is good for them to remain as they are. If they’re married, don’t divorce; if they’re not married, do not find a wife. And if a virgin so happened to marry, they wouldn’t be in sin. Paul basically says this because those who are married are to live in such a way with a sense of urgency for their spouse, not themselves. A married man is more concerned with how he could please his wife, vice-verse with the wife. And its better for the singles to live in such a way devoted to the Lord.  (read verses 25-35)

The passage states that singles are to be more focused on serving God than anything else. Not to say married couples are not to be focused, for they can be a ministry as well. But in today’s world, the biggest distraction to singles is sex. Rather it’s loneliness driving you into sexual temptation, or a “dating” relationship, singles struggle with sex.

But that’s the amazing thing about being single. Even when you’re struggling, you know that God has something bigger for you. You’re struggling for a reason… the sermon notes explain..

  • Singleness is a gift from God. It’s not a second-class way of living. The single years are the years you are most available to serve God! A gift from God is meant to be utilized for His glory alone. Utilize your singleness.
  • Singleness is good.You have freedom & flexibility. The problem, however, is that we use that freedom and flexibility for the wrong reasons, and get caught up in sin. The reality is most singles are having sex. Marriages have problems too. You can be married and still be lonely. If you’re burning with passion as Paul mentioned, don’t get married and think your desire for sex, struggles with lust and pornography will go away. REPENT from those sins, while you’re single, don’t wait til you get married. Pastor said it best:

The whole “you complete me” is a LIE. You were completed the moment you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. You are not half, you are WHOLE by the GRACE of GOD. -Pastor Carter

  • Singleness is for Greater Impact for the Kingdom of God. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:35 that singles “should live in a right way in undivided devotion of God.” (NIV) Singles should have an undying devotion to God! How am I living my singleness? Am I in a holding pattern??
  • Singleness grows you personally. That’s the best time to find yourself in Christ, as well as finding yourself in your surroundings. When you’re about Christ, and devoted to living solely for Him, that’s when everything else around you starts to change, You experience growth, and you find out right there and then, what else, and who else is growing with you.

This first message of the series on singleness was music to my ears. Something I needed to hear. I enjoy writing these reviews on these sermons, especially when I relate directly to them. I am technically in God’s eye, single. Yes, I’m in a relationship, and striving to honor God in that relationship, and shift it further and further away from a worldly relationship. hearing and applying a message like this to my relationship wont be a walk in the park, but it’ll all be towards the Glory of God in the end.


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