Thoughts Of A Man

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Everyone has thoughts… some captivating, others overwhelming.. no matter what it is, you’re always thinking. Here are my thoughts… 

Still Struggling

Something I shouldn’t have said or done something I shouldn’t have looked at or thought something I shouldn’t…the reality is the struggle is something serious. Everyone has a certain struggle. Fear, Insecurities, sin, etc. No one is less than the other, especially when talking about sin. Sexual sin is and has been my struggle. Premarital sex, masturbation, pornography, lust, all have been a weakness. Before even coming into realization that it was wrong and I was striving to live better, it was a feast, something I indulged in. I had no remorse for it. It was my gateway. Now I don’t do it nearly as much, because I know better. I’m convicted because I know what God says about it, but I still do it. Does it make me a ignorant sinner, or a struggling believer? All I know is I’m still struggling… and I need to change that.. Job made a covenant not to lust over a woman, and I need to do that same thing. When my mind wanders, I need to take every thought that’s not pleasing to God and take it into obedience to Christ. I must remind myself that my body wasn’t created for sexual immorality, but worship to God and service to others. And when the thought or the temptation of sexual immorality comes around I need to FLEE from it… So If I know better, why do I continue to struggle?? 

Patience…

My job, relationships, school, etc. A lot of things in my life require a certain level of patience. on my job, patient means the difference between giving up and staying encouraged when things aren’t going right. Or looking for a second job because of financial hardships. Patience could be seeking God before putting more applications in for a second job. Patience in a relationship means the world of a difference between starting a relationship without seeking God’s voice on if it’s the right time, and having a God approved courtship that leads to marriage. The difference between fighting and battling against sexual sin versus remaining pure and waiting until marriage.

Being patient at school is realizing no one is rushing you to finish school. No one graduates overnight. Finishing college has a few parallels to spiritual living. It’s not a sprint, but a marathon. Philippians 3:12-14 talks about pursuing the goal and pressing towards the mark. Just so it is with everything in life, with school. Pressing towards the mark isn’t accomplished overnight. A consistent, and persistent approach is key. I’m less than two years away from finishing college, so approaching it with a mindset that it is a marathon is what will get the job done. 

Relationships..

they have been both a strength and weakness in my life. The weaknesses have proved that I may not catch feelings at the same time “she” does, but when I do, they’re just as deep if not deeper. The problem with that is if and when the relationship ends, I’m stuck with feelings and she is on to the next one. This could possible end up hurting the next woman that comes along. Another weakness is my insecurities. Not realizing I had an opportunity to be apart of something special. A relationship is something to enjoy and embrace. And the person you embrace with shows you and or reminds you why you’re apart of it, and why they chose you to share that relationship with you. It’s up to you to be confident in yourself, the person you’re with, and the state of that relationship. There was a time I wasn’t confident on myself. I allowed my mind to trick me into believing I wasn’t good enough. I would say lesson learned but I can’t really say if I’m there yet. The insecurities of my past could hurt me in the future that is if I don’t decide to do something about it now… 

Then there are strengths. Relationships may not last always but they teach you how to learn from past mistakes as well as the people involved can help each other to grow. That’s a big positive. I don’t believe you stay the same from one relationship to the next. I feel a part of you changes. You start to think twice about some things. You learn to guard your heart more just as Proverbs 4:23 tells us. Even in the midst of a relationship you start to think back on how past decision and actions now set you up for either success or failure.. Wise decision making and relationships haven’t always been my strong point, but it’s rising up and overcoming the odds & persevering pass the hurt, turning away from selfishness and disciplining yourself.

Building a relationship is like building a house. You don’t build it from the outside in, and you don’t just build on top of anything. Foundation first! I must be honest, I haven’t always gone into a relationship with a foundation first mindset. I’ve gone in head first feelings on my sleeve, and in most cases, without any self discipline.

I want the relationship where there is a heart connection not just a physical connection. Not just having a whole lot in common, but having a connection that goes deeper than that. Our hearts have to be connected. the way two people’s hearts connect is that both hearts are connected to God.

That’s why God has to be the foundation. Because if He’s not, the relationship is just built on sinking sand, crumbling into the depths of heart-break, lies, and even soul ties. Read Luke 6:46-49. Making God the foundation in all that you do including relationships, means you have to listen to and obey His word… Something I haven’t always been good at..

God is speaking…Am I listening?

Sometimes I feel I’m not like I know I need to, at times I want to, but it feels like I can’t hear Him if I tried. Everything around me is static to my ears when I’m trying to listen to Him. The reason you get static is because of poor reception. The thing about poor reception is, it’s not what’s being received, it’s what is in the way of the satellite or digital antenna receivers receiving a clear signal. In this case, my ears are the digital receivers. I have a spiritual antenna. And lately I haven’t been picking up a clear signal. Usually dust in space and the weather are reasons satellites don’t receive a clear signal. So what are my reasons for not receiving a clear signal from God? what’s distracting me from hearing God’s voice loud and clear? ME. I’m the reason I can’t hear God like I want and need to. God is speaking to me, that I can be sure. But what is He saying? Is He saying remain patient in searching for a second job, or taking a chance on a business and entrepreneur opportunity? What about my family, my relationship, my job, my relationship with You God? My sins, fears, and doubts have separated me from You, but You haven’t moved, I did. Forgive me Lord. Forgive me for doubting You, and myself for having fears & doubts, forgive and purge me of my presumptuous sins, the sins I did last night, last week, the sins I’ve yet to commit. Re-engage my heart in my life, in all that I do. Engage my heart in my relationship with you O God. 

Clear out the distractions in my mind, the hurt and guilt from my heart, and immorality from my spirit so I can hear from You clearly.!  In You son Jesus name AMEN..

My thoughts…  

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