Bruised. Battered. emotionally and physically injured.
Tears, scars, depressed, loneliness.
I will never know what all a woman goes through, and what they go through in life. But I’m deeply sorry for the wounds that they face. The insecurities, the pain from past relationships. Abused, neglected. cheated on, left out in the cold, turned on, misused, and abandoned.
Even my wounds I deal with as a man are nothing compared to the wounds a woman has to endure.
Most wounds women have and deal with are caused by men..
As a man, we often times don’t realize the damage we cause in a woman’s life……
A Father not being there for her daughter, or abandoning her and the family, or abusing his wife/girlfriend….
A boyfriend who allows the girl to be wrapped up and caught up in the emotions of a empty relationship, where she’s full of love, and he’s just either full of lust, immaturity, or just an overall lack of a man, struggling from his wounds, or just needing to MAN UP..
Then there’s a wound inflicted on a woman that most times comes from a man, not necessarily a boyfriend, spouse, of father, but maybe the guy friend at school or the co-worker at the job.. that poses a threat…the threat of peer pressure. Once that woman has given in to the pressures, the hurt, betrayal, the exposing, the embarrassment, the ridicule that results from it, sends that woman into a whirlwind of negative emotions.. causing an emotional wound.
Now some wounds are the result of dealing with other women, but the damage is much worse from the wounds of a man.
A woman can be hurt from another woman, maybe a best friend or a family member. Broken friendships, betrayal and broken promises, a mother failing to raise her daughter, family drama, feeling left alone.
Men have wounds, but there’s no question a Woman’s wounds cut deeper….
It’s when a woman begins to address the
wounds in her life, and begins to search for healing.. and that’s where GOD and only God can come in and begin the healing process.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. – Psalm 147:3
There’s 3 things a Woman should know in dealing with her wounds..
1. A Woman’s healing begins with facing her pain. A Woman faces the pain of her wounds by acknowledging the hurt, recounting the incident, expressing the feelings that she has, and by establishing responsibility.
Acknowledging your hurt means you have come to the realization and the Truth of your hurt. John 8:32 says that once you know the Truth, it shall make you free.
Recognizing your hurt starts off the process and setting a woman free from the pain, and it helps when a woman recounts the incidents in the past, because she knows she doesn’t want to go through that again.
Expressing the feelings from the hurt is key, because most times women isolate themselves and don’t always express what they are feeling after being through what she’s been through. Matthew 5:4 says blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. As a woman, you have to express how you feel, and allow God to comfort you. God cant comfort you, if you don’t allow yourself to grieve. When women hold in what they are feeling, the devil is actually winning. he doesn’t want you to confront your feelings, he wants them to keep them in the darkness, but God wants you to bring what you’re feeling into the light. We see in the bible that Jesus had an array of feelings He expressed. From joyful, to prayerful, to angry, to tempted, to sad, to rejoicing. He knows what you go through.. He knows. Talk to Him, when you let out whatever it is that you are feeling, God is able to cleanse you of the guilt, the shame, the hurt from your wounds. because He’s more than willing to help!
Establishing responsibility for your wounds is recognizing that as a Woman you have your own wounds to deal with. Joshua 7 talks about Achan’s sin and how the Israelites had sinned against God and His covenant. It was Joshua who attempted to take the blame, but God told him to stand up and realize that he wasn’t the one who sinned but the people of Israel. As a Woman, its important to realize that you can’t take the blame for someone else’s mistakes. If you have been hurt by someone in the past, and you are wounded by them, don’t take the fall for them sinning against you or hurting you. Its not your fault. You can’t take on someone else’s sin. The only one who can do that is Jesus.
2. A Woman’s wounds of the past will show up in your present. A Woman must deal with her wounds, before they deal with her. [The same can be said about a man and his wounds.] John 4 brings up the story of the Samaritan woman and the conversation she had with Jesus. She had had a past of marrying more than once.
Just with that a story, a woman has to look at her life for the current problems, as well as allow others to observe her blind spots. Hebrews 10:24-25 says And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching. A woman has to find an effective way to deal with the wounds of her past, or else those wounds will pose problems for her in the present. A past wound of being neglected by her father, could turn into a problem of searching for love in relationships in all the wrong places, substituting real love for empty lust. A wound caused by an abusive ex husband or boyfriend can turn into a problem dealing with insecurity and not allowing herself to trust the next man who comes along. Having accountable friends to help handle her problems, are just one of the steps in effectively healing the wounds that you have.
3. A Woman’s wounds are healed by Following God’s plan. It starts with forgiveness. As soon as you forgive, you step into your healing. Forgive means to release, or to set free. Whoever it is that has wounded you in your past, no matter how bad, forgiving that person allows God to come in and start the healing process. By releasing the pain of the wound from your heart and mind, and by setting free the emotions from the hurt. Ephesians 4:32 says to Be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. The key to forgiveness is knowing that you’ve already been forgiven by God, so you can forgive others. After forgiveness, comes Reconciliation/Confrontation. You have to reconcile and confront the people who have wounded you, but do so out of love. Matthew 18:15-17 talks about this. But be careful not to look for healing in others, because your healing comes from GOD. Don’t expect the ones that hurt you, to heal you.
A woman must also rebuild her self image. Allowing herself to heal from the wounds, forgiving those who hurt her, forgiving herself, and reconciling and confronting. A way to rebuild the self image is to find healthy models. 1 Corinthians 12:12-26 talks about how important it is to be in the body of Christ and how it is built. For women, finding other sisters in the faith, growing in God, and rebuilding their self image, becoming stronger women of God, that’s extremely important.
Finally, a woman needs to become a wounded healer. 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 tells us how God is the God of all comfort and how we are comforted in times of trouble, we can be comforters and comfort others in their times of trouble. Women that have been wounded and fully healed of their wounds can go out and help other women start the healing process of their wounds.
Women who have been wounded all have one thing in common, once fully healed by God, their heart fully protected and hidden in Christ, they’re no longer wounded women…