Solo

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…is what it looks like i’ll be for a while… and why not?? i havent really had a chance to enjoy and entertain the thought of just being to myself… why? because i’ve always wanted to chase and pursue the next opportunity, the next crush, the next ‘could be’, which occasionally turns into a relationship… but what im trying to figure out  at the moment is am i really trying to pursue a relationship , or am i just seeking attention… like really? what am i doing..

I thought at first , pursuing a relationship was the answer, but now its becoming more of the latter, just like the thought of being liked, or liking someone and hoping they like me back….  being interested in someone, and actually trying to pursue them, is two different things. don’t matter how interested you are in each other, your (my) mind needs to be made up if you are going to pursue that opportunity or stay back and chill…

in my past, relationships have ended , and opportunities have been passed up over this type of decision. . . i’ll be honest, its not the easiest decision but if made right, it’ll be the difference between potential heartbreak  and chilling Scott free.. this may be that one decision where second guessing is not such a bad idea.. seriously..

going solo doesn’t mean you have to be alone, or be lonely…. thats the major eye opener people (including myself) need to understand. Being alone/lonely is asking for attention, basically begging to be noticed, to be talked to, messed with, etc, etc. but being solo, is about changing your perspective. you can have friends you talk to, and chill with. just enjoying where things are going, but not really looking into it…

being solo can mean you’re bettering yourself so you can be someone’s better half, and that takes effort, pulling yourself aside and realize that you’re not just quite ready to settle down for a relationship that has intentions of marriage..and not just hooking up just to be hooking up..

and who knows, your definition of being solo could mean getting closer to the good Lord above, developing a soul tie with Jesus Christ, im just saying…

my definition is well , all of the above. and quite frankly, i could definitely CHANGE my perspective about ALL 3. this is how my perspective needs to be like…….

— chilling with someone, or wanting to for that matter, doesnt have to mean that its going somewhere **talking to myself** , chilling means just that… just chilling.

— working to be a better person is more than just dropping a few pounds, or learning some new fly way to step to someone…. or new clothes, or ‘swag’ or new attitude, working on yourself takes dedication, and devotion to yourself.. work on being content with yourself. love yourself. like the saying goes, you cant truly love someone, til you love yourself. so get in the gym, get in shape, but also get into the habbit of finding what YOU like, treat yourself sometime. start a new hobby. kick an old bad habit to the curve. be confident in yourself, but also get yourself together, get priorities in order, take responsibility for yourself and your actions…  find ways top to bottom to improve yourself, emotionally, mentally, financially, and spiritually.

— speaking of spiritual improvement, this is where i need the most work…. wherever you are in your walk in Christ, whether you believe in Him, don’t believe, or just don’t care…. im telling you, that you absolutely cannot, will not ever…. EVER… have any type of RELATIONSHIP with a person and expect it to last , without having a knowledge, love, reverence of God in your heart! not just say God exists… yada yada yada … no this is where improving yourself will become CRUCIAL… not only should you strive to improve yourself spiritually to the benefit of relating to someone, but you should also do it to flat out improve yourself! ultimate goal is to get better day after day… (this is another blog , another day, but getting better each day , is a tough process, and i haven’t done the best job of it lately… but like i said, another blog , another time..)

now i wont force being spiritual, Christian and knowing God and having him in your heart, change your ways, all that jazz on you… thats not me, but i will say.. if you want the relationship that lasts a lifetime… it may be beneficial for you to know, love, obey, and fear something that has been around for a lifetime… GOD! so i pray that this part will encourage and inspire you to include and make God top priority in your life. Make Him your decision maker… (im talking to myself on that one)

what does the bible say about being solo?

 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (NIV)

 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.

1 Corinthians 7:7-8 (NIV)

Basically all of 1 Corinthians 7 gives us insight on how single life as a Christian can be abundant, but also revealing on whether its time to get married, or remain single..

And remember 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 (NLT)

Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? Hw can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? 

When you (I) finally decide to pursue that relationship, ask yourself this one question.. You believe in Christ, does the person you’re interested in believe in Christ, do they exhibit a love for Him in their heart/actions/daily walk??

Then there’s Philippians 4:11-12 (KJV)

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 

These two verses, Paul is talking about how he has learned how to be content with where he is, and what’s going on around him. He speaks of how to be content when things are good, and vice versa.  same can be said about single life. Sometimes its just good to be content with not being in a relationship.. don’t get me wrong, relationships can be enjoying, especially if they lead to something greater, but living the single life can be great too!! Being content with where you are proves your patience , AND Faith!!

….this is what i like to call my vent/inspirational mix… im part venting, part trying to inspire myself/others… its cool to just be single, and not worry about a thing. in fact, im doing that right now as we speak…. but improving myself in every aspect, is definitely something way more important than trying to pursue a relationship. if theres one thing ive learned about past relationships, is that if you want your relationship to grow, and be successful, and lasting, God has to be the foundation…. not only that, but you have to make sure you’re planted in that foundation, and not wavering in faith, or just wandering around…

keep in mind that being solo doesn’t mean you necessarily have to always be looking forward to that next relationship.. sometimes its cool to just chill… if someone becomes interested, or if you become interested.. seriously weigh out the options.. don’t rush nothing.. find a comfort zone with being single.. a chance to be to yourself… of course don’t lead no one on, don’t even lead yourself on.. (that can happen sometime) just sit back, and chill. start up a good friendship, and keep the feelings in check 😉

(again, talking to myself on this one) *pulls out pen and takes notes*

…what that has gotten me to is that  being solo right now is whats best… no matter if i catch a crush for someone, mutual interest sparks up… i have to realize that im not fully prepared to offer my 100% +1 right now… and thats honest, paying attention to instincts and feelings, instead of truth, and reality will get me messed up… im just being real…i’ve got some work to do..

It’s weird, as much as I want to be in a relationship, I don’t want to be in one just to date, but I know I’m too young to settle down…

..im not lonely, or alone,… just Solo 😉

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