This time yesterday part of me felt real good, another part felt like I was down and out. I was glad the mavericks had won their playoff game, but there was a spirit inside of me. A depressing , disappointing, discouraging spirit inside that drowned out any good feeling I had. I had recently checked my grades for the semester and what I saw I was not pleased with myself. My gpa was the lowest that its been since my freshman year. I was deeply disappointed with myself because I felt that I did better than what my grades show, then…that’s when reality set in…
I started thinking about the days I would be late to class and some days I wouldn’t even show up… my effort wasn’t there. I deserved the grades that I received. Granted that I did make an A in one of the classes. Failing the other class and making a C in another. I just thought to myself that I just didn’t bring it this semester, for some reason, the intensity , the focus, the drive wasn’t there. I begin to beat myself up about, not making any excuses , not bein in the hospital for 4 days or having bad weather for a whole week… none of it. I just gave myself a hard time for it, knowing that i expect better of myself…but it changed my mood right then and there. I didn’t feel like talking a whole lot, I was irritable…. I was in the funk…
If it wasn’t for my gf encouraging me and reminding me that I can defeat that discouraging spirit inside me and give it to God , I would still be feeling down and out. I thank God for her, she was special to me even as just a friend, and truly continues to support me and inspire me now as a gf and bestfriend.
I no longer allowed myself to feel down, for I knew it was only the devil that wanted me to feel like that. But I’m not goin out like that.
I talked to God and asked him to remove that stronghold off of me and help me to focus on Him. Now I’m encouraged and confident that first off, I won’t feel like that again, and second I can do ALL things through CHRIST WHICH STRENGTHENS ME!! and because of that, I can walk right back into a classroom whether it be this fall or if I decide to take summer school, and go after it with a fierce determination to come out with a better result. Study longer , harder, and smarter. Give it all my effort, and allow God to empower me to pass all my classes from here on out!
I know I’m better than what i showed this semester, and that’s why I want to get back in school ASAP to prove that to myself!!
From fallen to Focus
From depressed and discouraged to Determined
From complacent to Confident
I WILL PREVAIL
I WILL PERSEVERE
Thank You Jesus I declare victory over a defeated spirit, and claim a renewed focus, confident spirit in Your name,