Courtship Pt. 3: ‘The Conversation’

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All i could do was smile. We were all in the kitchen and living room of her parents house, her brother, sister, brother in law, and .. her parents. Laughing and talking, having a good time. Eating ice cream, pie, Sunday dinner, just enjoying the evening, after what was an amazing church service on Easter Sunday, (also called Resurrection Sunday, or First Fruits)

The entire day was awesome! I had attended my church that morning, and enjoyed myself there as well..

As good as this day was, and knowing and realizing what the day meant deep down, that this day was celebrating that Jesus Christ rose from the dead, as good as the day had been, i knew there was a small part of me that had a different feeling. A small feeling of nerves. I was excited for the day, but also anxious..

I knew that after church i would end up at her parents house, just like the first time i visited her church. Her parents are so kind and basically made me feel right at home. Real down to earth people. (And i see every bit of her parents in her!)

But this time was different. The smiles, small talk, laughs, talking about how good church was, all of that was great, but i knew the time had come. Me and her talked about it…. originally my idea, became our idea, and there was no more waiting. The opportunity was at hand. It was time for…the conversation..

The whole time it felt like i was letting time slip away, it was like i froze up and could just smile and join in on the conversation.

Dont freeze up Joseph. You can do this! Its not hard, just relax and be yourself. Remember, you wanted to do this.. So follow through.. 

Her brother in law figured out that it was time for me to have the talk with her parents, and what worked for him, was that he was himself and relaxed. he told me the same, and i did…

It wasn’t until the end of the evening, i finally stepped up to the plate and opened my mouth up and let her parents know that i wanted to talk to them about dating their daughter. Asking them for their advice, counsel, and blessing over our relationship.

Wait, Who does that anymore? 

I wouldn’t use to do that. I have met the parents of previous gf’s but nothing like this. Nothing like meeting them, and actually wanting to make a priority to have their permission to date their daughter, like this time. This time i felt like it was necessary and heavily suggested.

And im glad i did. Both of their parents had very wise words to say to both of us, especially me. And you better believe those words were well received. What they told us was that we should establish and know for sure what our purpose is for being involved with each other, whether its God’s will that we remain just good friends or if He leads and guides us to something more (Hopefully). Her dad told me something that i felt was key. He said we should know for sure where we are in our lives, and if we are ready for marriage or a serious serious relationship. I felt that was important, cause thats been a thought I’ve had. Its something i will have to pray about for sure.

Not many relationships really start when the guy asks the girl’s parents for their permission and grace and blessing anymore. Not too many start like that anymore, because its conceived of being something old school. Well i may be just 20, but i do have some old school in me.

having the conversation wasn’t as bad as i initially thought it would be . I had a small fear that her dad would say i wasn’t ready or something as bad as she’s too good for you and that yall could just be friends.. but the inner peace God gave me, allowed me to push the doubt and fear out of my mind.

I feel if two people just want to have the type of relationship the world tries to paint, alot of emotion, not alot of purpose or drive to go higher, but just love (or lust) each other, just because of the feeling of being together, than personally i don’t think that relationship has much of a future, just alot of living in the moment.

her dad told us in the conversation that we shouldn’t just live in the moment, with our relationship, or as individuals, but we should also have a mindset for the future, and understand our God-given purpose for ourselves.

Thats what its all about. 

Whether this courtship leads to marriage or not, only God knows, I can truly say I’m proud of myself for stepping up and following through with initiating the conversation with her parents. I listened carefully and received all that was said, and took to heart. I thank God for giving me courage to want to talk to her parents, for giving me concentration and patience to listen, and I thank Him for blessing me with the opportunity thus far, to enjoy this courtship with a beautiful God-fearing girlfriend (i can say girlfriend now) 🙂 and also giving me the chance to not only spend time with her, but also her family. I feel thats extremely important. I hope and pray she gets the same opportunity soon to be around my family, so they can get to meet her, and see what i see in her.

In my opinion, the conversation with the parents is the second most important conversation. ultimately the most important conversation is the conversation between each other, and God.

Now you can say I’m no longer nervous! But very happy! and excited for whats to come! 

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