Courtship Pt. 2: Knowing Your Status

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In a relationship, whether you’re just starting out as friends, or at the stage of considering commitment and engagement, its always important in knowing your status.

Reading this book on courtship, ‘Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship’ by Joshua Harris has taught me something i hadn’t always realize about relationships. learning to say no to yourself.

What do i mean by saying no to myself? Well, saying no to my emotions getting the better of me, and allowing any feelings i have for this person in my life to run wild. I must gain control over the mental, and definitely physical emotions.

In the recent chapters i read in the book, it was talking about how important it was to have wisdom given only from God to lead you in your decisions and how to dictate your feelings for the other person in the courtship. Also, Harris touched on the importance of growing and guarding in friendship, fellowship, and romance. (Chapter 5)


…And thats how you find and realize your status.

Growing in friendship and fellowship is the status i can closely relate to. Basically in the chapter, it was mentioned that there must be a balance struck between the growing and guarding in the relationship. Growing in friendship means getting to know each other, and learning more about the other’s character. the fellowship part includes growing together and strengthening the spiritual connection between the two of you. That spiritual connection can be reached by attending bible studies at church, or sharing thoughts on a sermon after Sunday service, praying for each other, emailing each other scriptures and other encouragements.

But the balancing part can be tricky. Harris describes in his writing that the balancing act between growing together, and guarding each other’s hearts can be like a circus act where the guy is balancing a stick horizontally 100 feet off the ground as he tip toes across a thin rope.

In a relationship, you should be careful not to grow too fast emotionally, as well as not to guard each other’s hearts where you can’t progress in the relationship and allow a natural grow in romance and healthy intimacy.


I feel like this may be a little bit of a challenge. I cant help but to get excited in this new season. Everything is going good, i feel that me and my lady friend are moving in a good direction, and i sense that we’re growing at a healthy pace, and careful to guard each other’s heart from falling for the other too fast. The challenge will be to watch the balance in it. In the past, I’ve wanted to live off of emotion and end up growing intimately too fast, not bringing about a healthy growth in the relationship.

I realize that I have to pray and ask God for that balance, and to keep me patient and not to get anxious.

Once i achieve that balance, which i think i already have in most cases, I think i’ll be alright..

I feel like me and her grow every day in some area of our lives. We’re growing personally as a great friends transitioning into a couple, as well as growing in fellowship type atmospheres, like at church, and around family and friends.

Thing is, as much as we grow, i feel that its necessary that me and her guard each other’s hearts against temptation and any emotions that may overwhelm. I don’t want us to grow to much where what we feel for each other starts to override what we feel for God. The pursuit of God’s heart is and should be our top priority alone, and that should be the drive for me and her to grow closer together. As guarding each other’s heart goes,i don’t want to guard her heart to the point, where she doesn’t know or sense how much i care for her..


Status is important. Balance is Key. God is the solution.


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