Quest for Authentic Manhood: The Manhood Plan

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At my church, we have been having this 24 week session Men’s Fraternity, and every saturday morning the men of the church would meet, and work through a workbook (called quest for Authentic Manhood), and midway through the session, a Manhood plan was assigned to all the men to complete a layout, portfolio of how to attain the ‘Authentic Manhood’.. this plan consisting of confronting past mistakes or wounds in your life, addressing the present status of where you are in the journey to manhood, and looking ahead, what goals need to be set and reached to achieve… ‘Authentic Manhood’.

Well.. i finally finished mine, glad i can say that this process of filling out this Manhood plan has opened my eyes to a lot of things i need to talk over with God.

but im thrilled to be on this journey of Authentic Manhood, and being apart of this Men’s Fraternity at my church just motivates and inspires me to want to continue to grow more in Christ as a young man, but also realize fully, that God has so much more to work on me. This will take time.. but if i stay focused on Him, and live more Christ like, stop being stubborn in my ways.. and fully surrender and submit to Christ… the process will be worth it, the journey will be more than just working at being better, i’ll actually enjoy the growth process.

heres my plan


“Teach us to number our days, that we may present to Thee a heart of wisdom.”
Psalm 90:12

“Therefore, be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise,
making the most of your time, because the days are evil.”
Ephesians 5:16-17 


A. What personal strengths do I presently have due to positive experiences and good people in my past?
Being able to be transparent with family and friends.

How can these strengths and assets aid me in my journey to authentic manhood?

By staying transparent and being honest with myself. I have to know that I need support and encouragement on this journey thru manhood.

B. What unfinished business undercuts my journey to manhood? Facing, confronting, fully moving on from my past

1. Which of the manhood wounds Robert Lewis presented have I not adequately addressed?

-The Father wound, the all alone wound, and the heart wound

2. Have I made a decision to move through the pain rather than be crippled by it?

-Yes! In the past, I would just get through, instead of actually confronting my past.

3. What keeps me from addressing these wounds?

-Being stubborn, inconsistent spiritually, always ‘living’ in just the moment.

4. Whose help do I need?

-God, a mentor, male family member (uncle, or grandfather)

5. How will I practically address the wounds affecting me from my past? Be specific.

-Taking time to get away from everything, and just have one on one time with God. Talking with my family, or that mentor, addressing exactly what I’ve been through in my past.

6. How will I know when I am finished with this unfinished business? Can I describe “finishing”?

-By having faith. As far as unfinished business, the father wound will always affect me, because he is no longer living. I can overcome the heart, and all alone wounds. Taking each day one at a time.

C. What past mistakes do I still need to deal with fully? (i.e. confess and be forgiven for, make resolution for, accept responsibility for, etc.)

-Fornication, lying to others, emotional manipulation in relationships, procrastination, spiritual inconsistency

1. How am I going to deal with these mistakes? Read the Word more, Pray and ask God to transform my mindset

2. What steps do I need to take? Changing my habits, develop a routine, and a work regimen both at home, school, and work.

3. Whose help do I need? Mentor, close friend, pastor, church leader or member, uncle or older male cousin.

D. What questions from my past still need to be answered? Who can help me? Have I made an appointment to seek their help?

-Why does a disappointment in my life, send me into a funk, contemplating my past.


A. How do I evaluate myself in light of the biblical definition of real manhood?

-I feel that I still live an example of Adam, instead of more Christ-like

B. According to the Scripture, what manhood responsibilities do I have at this stage in my life? Make a list.

-To be more faithful, live spirit led, not by flesh. Continue to stay active in work, studies, and in God’s Word.

1. Do I accept these responsibilities with conviction? YES!

2. Am I willing to pursue these by faith? At the moment, my faith is continuing to grow

3. What obstacles are holding me back? Myself. Stubbornness. Mentally being discipline, and spiritually consistent

C. Where am I succeeding as a man right now, in regards to my biblical calling as a man?
-Respectful to higher authority, loving others, kindness, patience and self-control in most areas
1. Would others agree with me?
-friends, family members.

2. How can I see God rewarding me for these successes?
-more opportunities to love others, meeting new people and sharing my story with them about living more Christ-like

D. Where am I struggling or failing as a man right now?
-self temptation, purity, lack of faith or trust in God. Failing to have a consistent prayer life, as well as consistently reading the Word.

1. How, practically, can I reverse this?
-stay occupied in my studies, READ THE WORD MORE, PRAY MORE

2. What key steps can I take within the next 30 days to actually start a reversal process?
-Find a close friend, or family member and become accountability partners. Challenge myself to spend 30 minutes to an hour reading and praying, devoting time to God.

3. Whose help do I need?
-God, a mentor, close friend


A. What goals must I accomplish for me to say I have achieved true manhood by the end of my life?
Make a list.

-Becoming more consistent. Develop a habit, routine of having devotion time w/ God EVERY day. Now with myself, In the future, with my wife/significant other, and then my kids.

B. What adjectives would I want my wife to use to describe me over the years of our marriage?
-Loving, Caring, Understanding, trustworthy, transparent, honest, spontaneous, fun, and faithful

C. What sort of “old man” do I want to be? Describe in detail. How can I avoid Ecclesiastes 2:11?
-Being an example to my children of how to live better. Show them how to live. Show them a 1 Timothy 4:8, as well how important 2 Timothy 4:8 is.

D. How do I want to be remembered by those who knew me?
-Put God first in my life, then his family, close friends, then himself. Persevered through every trial and tribulation. Strived to do better in everything part of my life each day .

E. What specific experiences and memories do I want my children to have with me before they leave home?
-Father and kid night out, movies night, bible study at home Saturday nights before church, ‘the talk’
Have a big leaving home party and celebrate their growth and maturation process, and EVERY TIME I tell them I LOVE YOU, AND IM PROUD OF YOU.

Lord I submit this Manhood plan to You , You are more than able to change and transform my mindset, conform my will to Yours, You can change me beyond what i can imagine. Build me up Lord, make me stronger, help me to live for You, not for the world. Help me to change all of my ways, so that Your name gets ALL the Glory. Build me up to be the Christ-like Man that You’ve created me to be.

In your son Jesus name I ask and pray for this,


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